It was too painful
by Cyane2000
Summary: Short stories revolving around Lucy and Erza. mostly with Pain/Angst, but almost always one-sided love from Erza or Lucy. Chapter Two: conversations, style was a suggestion by a friend.
1. Chapter 1

It was too painful. Being in Erza's embrace was too painful. The redhead, the kindest woman she had ever met, the person she had undeniably fallen for, was embracing her with such care and worry it made her cry. Her forehead rested on the other woman's shoulder, her tears flooding into her white blouse. Her hands were curled up in front of her, and she silently shook from all the emotions.

Erza was so worried she thought she would break down too, Lucy could feel. The woman had gently taken her into her arms, desperate to give the comfort Lucy was craving. Even now, the lips that whispered assuring words in her right ear, made them both shake. Her hands, that held Lucy safely, were slowly stroking Lucy's back. They were shaking almost unnoticeably, and Lucy indeed did not notice.

The scene was filled with so much pain and intimacy… It made her sadness grow even more. Neither knew how long they were standing there. It didn't matter, as Erza would stay and comfort her until Lucy was smiling again. It took a long time before she held her head up, and seeing the pain and care in Erza's eyes was too much. She buried herself in the calm darkness and Erza's smell once again.

Finally, she lifted her head, resolved to not fall into despair until Erza had left. The woman still looked at her that way, like she was the most precious and vulnerable thing in the world. She stroked a few of Lucy's hairs out her face, and Lucy leaned to the hand that slowly cupped her.

"Are you okay?" Erza asked, with a small and unusual voice.

Lucy tried to smile and shook her head. Talking was too hurtful now.

Erza noticed. She put her arms around Lucy's waist now, diminishing the little distance between them. She brought her head closer and closer. Erza studied Lucy's face one more time, just one more time, before she closed her own eyes and brought her lips to the younger one's.

But Lucy turned away, so her lips touched the cheek lightly. She looked at Lucy questioningly.

"Not like this. Never like this." Lucy whimpered and although Erza understood fully what she wanted to say, she completely ignored it. It was clear Lucy was resisting what she wanted, too. To forget the pain and let her drown into another feeling, one Erza could give her.

That's why she cupped Lucy's cheeks. Lucy studied her face too, her eyes flying from her eyes to her lips. She tried to pull back, but failed as Erza cupped the side of her face once again.

"Let me do this. Please, Lucy." She was begging now, tears coming through. Lucy only shook her head.

"No. I don't want it. I don't…" her voice cracked.

Erza stroked Lucy's hair repeatedly. The need to be close to her was overwhelming her. But she shouldn't. Her mind was broken at last. She needed her so much, her lips automatically went closer, before she could think or stop.

Erza was surprised, but she kissed back. Lucy sighed in sudden content. Erza was a very skilled kisser. Her conscience, however, wasn't so set up with the pure bliss and made her retreat. Erza, on the other hand, leaned further in, the redhead's lips seeking hers. She opened her eyes back and saw Lucy tremble slightly, torn between two choices. But there was no choice at all, Erza thought with sad recognition. There never had been.

She gently took the blonde's hands and looked at her intensely. Lucy tried to avoid her, but failed as she had lost the battle with herself. Erza kissed her lips sweetly, and after that, her eyes and the streaming tears that still run down. Erza pushed Lucy back, gently, so careful and lovingly. Lucy landed onto the bed, giving in. Erza was on top of her, still placing kisses, like feathery brushes on her face.

For the last time, Lucy tried to stop it. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. "Erza, stop. You will regret this."

Erza stopped and smiled sadly once again. "How could I regret this? In no world would I not do this. Just let me… let me…" her voice and eyes were pleading, and Lucy knew the situation had escalated too far to return.

But still, she simply couldn't give in. "Erza." Her voice coloured through pain and tears. "I love you. It won't change anything. You know better than this." It didn't even sound convincing to herself.

"Do I know better than this?" Erza pondered. "What could be better than to know I made you feel good, even if it is only temporary?"

Lucy gave up. Erza's twisted logic made her crumple and shiver in anticipation. Only now she noticed how her body felt, craving Erza. She pulled the redhead closer and kissed her again. Erza kissed back. It was heaven, but it wasn't enough for the both of them. So they went further and further, until they didn't have any breath left.

Hours later, Erza pulled a cover over Lucy's body. She smiled, oddly happy and content. Without thinking, she put an arm around her waist and slid closer, her nose touching Lucy's hair until she fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you think we'll get out of here?"

"Of course. The guild will be searching for us now. And I have you. You have me. Isn't that what's most important?"

"…"

"I'm sorry. I won't say those kind of things again."

"No, I'm sorry, Erza. I just don't know how to cope with it."

"The current situation or my love?"

"…"

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"Lucy, it's not your fault, you know. That is the way life is."

"I know, but I can still feel your pain."

"I'm sorry. I wish I'd never told you. It changed everything."

"We're still friends, aren't we? Erza?"

"Are we? You can't look at me, touch me or think of me without feeling awkward. I can see it in your eyes."

"I've never had to deal with this situation before."

"Me neither. But can't you understand I just want to be friends?"

"I can't pretend nothing happened."

"What happened? Nothing, honestly. It's not important. I'm your friend. As long as we're friends, we'll overcome anything."

"But you want to be more than just friends."

"So? It doesn't matter, Lucy. Nothing does, as long as I get to talk to you, laugh with you."

"That's what I'm talking about. If you keep saying these things, I'll only feel your pain more."

"I've always said them, Lucy. Since we met, to be honest. Why make a point out of it now?"

"… Hold on. Were you in love with me since we met?"

"…"

"Erza, answer me."

"You don't want to know."

"Maybe I do."

"Yes, I was."

"…"

"See? I've made things even more awkward for you."

"Why don't you feel awkward?"

"Because I love you."

"Erza…"

"You asked."

"I'm sorry for putting you through all this."

"It's not your fault, Lucy. You can't help you being so amazing."

"…"

…

"Do you think we'll get out of here?"

"Of course, I've told you before."

"But it's been ages. Soon, we're going to die of thirst or hunger. And I'm bored out of my mind."

"I won't let you die. There's still food and water. And maybe we can play a game?"

"What game?"

"Embarrassing questions?"

"Fine with me. You start, I'll try and come up with embarrassing questions."

"You're going to have to search hard, then."

"Haha."

"Okay, got one. Do you regret you're still a virgin?"

"Erza!"

"Do you?"

"No. not really. I've never met the right person, I think."

"What about Natsu?"

"Natsu? Ew. He's my little brother."

"Gray?"

"He's friggin' cold. And not my type."

"Loke?"

"My Celestial Spirit!"

"Jellal?"

"You're going too far. Jellal? How did you even come up with him?"

"He was on your top three boyfriend list."

"That was just a list. I've barely spoken to the guy. He's a jackass."

"Why?"

"Because he hurt you."

"So?"

"So he's a jackass!"

"But you hurt me too, Lucy. Does that make you a jackass too?"

"I couldn't help it!"

"Neither could he. He was possessed, Lucy. Why didn't you say you disliked him?"

"Why would I? it'd only cause a fight between us and I didn't want that."

"It wouldn't."

"How do you know?"

"Did we fight just now?"

"No."

"See? I don't want to fight with you, even if you don't agree."

"Okay, I get it. My turn. Who was the last person you kissed."

"I don't know."

"What?!"

"I kissed a lot of people when I was drunk and I slept with a lot of people when I was trying to get over you. It didn't work, though. I can't not love you, it seems."

"Would you sleep with me if I was drunk now?"

"No! of course not. How can you think that of me?"

"I was just wondering. Have you ever had sex with a girl?"

"No. I don't know why. Would you want to have sex with a girl?"

"Why not? If I loved her…"

"…"

"I'm sorry, Erza. I could love you. But I just don't."

"How can you know if you don't try?"

"…"

"Please, Lucy. Give us a shot. One shot. That's all I ask. If you think I'm horrible after that, I'll leave you alone."

"I don't think you're horrible. You're an amazing person. I love you. Just not like that."

…

"What did you just do!?"

"I kissed you."

"I know that. But why?"

"I'm sorry. It was just so painful…"

"Erza?"

"Yes, Lucy?"

"Kiss me again."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want it to stop."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

…

"I love you, Lucy."

"…"

 **The End**

 **What you think? It's just an experiment where you have to imagine the body language, faces and circumstances yourself.**

 **You know, I always have lots of ideas to write, but when I sit at my pc, I can't type them out. It's really frustrating. And I need to do so much. Ugh.**

 **Also, do you like oneshots and short stories (2-3 chappies) or longer ones with better plots?**

 **Please review?**


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